7 Secrets to Get a Noticed by a Nerd

Never fear – Yasmin is here! Follow your friendly neighborhood boy catcher on a manhunt across the college campus. Need a nerd? Not to worry! Here are ‘7 Secrets to get Noticed by a Nerd’ I have all the insider information. Trust me, I’m an IB student. We’re known for our extravagant social lives.

Nerds. Underdogs now, bosses later (well usually, depending on how high their level of nerdiness is). Highly intelligent creatures with proportionately high money making potential. Who wouldn’t want one? Forget who – let’s get started on how to get one.

DISCLAIMER: If you don’t ‘get’ some of these secrets, it’s most likely due to the fact that it is a reference from a book/movie/TV series you haven’t read/watched. So hit the sci-fi section next time (if ever, that is) you enter a library.

Seven Secrets to Getting a Nerd:

    1. Get to the point straight away. “I find it physically stimulating how socially inept you are” is a great way to start a flirtatious conversation while refraining from looking like a pretentious idiot.
    2. Did I mention there were prerequisites? You have to be smart. Really smart. As smart as them. Preferably smarter. If you’re reading this, and you are taking it seriously, there probably isn’t much hope for you (but you can always continue with your futile task).
    3. Read his enemies Vogon Poetry
    4. 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0*
    5. Your love notes have to be utterly devoid of any emotion, e.g. “You’re as hot as a motherboard with faulty CPU fan.”
    6. Play your nerd the A Space Odyssey theme and ask if that can be ‘our song.’
    7. Respect his private space. (He’ll need it for when he’s sitting on a leather swivel chair, poring over his next alluringly evil conspiracy – that’s why you like him, of course).

Yes, that last tip wasn’t a joke, kids. Good luck on your venture.

*This can be deciphered using a digital converter, but if you need one to understand that, you’ll also need a colossal miracle to get you anywhere with your guy. Not meaning to burst your bubble.

Before you friendly compassionate people take me to be a judgmental, label slapping, stereotyping A-hole by typing a large group of people, please take a second to look at yourselves ❤ HAHAHA just kidding. But yeah this was just written for entertainment purposes.

Oh er. Yes. May I add that there are some who don’t require any effort to snag at all?

 

Quote

100 Word Responses: Unfortunate Coincidence

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying –
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

Title: Unfortunate Coincidence

Poet: Dorothy Parker

Response:

This poem caught me, probably because of its implications about society and for the questions it forced me to ask myself.

Is Parker trying to say that one partner will love the other more at any given point in the relationship? OMG – if I take her seriously does that mean one of us is lying? Or is she just having a jab at certain relationships in which a partner is taking advantage of another? Do I know WHY I’m in a relationship – for my own needs or because I love my partner? Do I know HOW I love my partner – purely for lust or also for their personality? Also, have I chosen the right man? Is he trustworthy?

It’d probably be good to ask yourself these questions too before entering or during a relationship!