7 Secrets to Get a Noticed by a Nerd

Never fear – Yasmin is here! Follow your friendly neighborhood boy catcher on a manhunt across the college campus. Need a nerd? Not to worry! Here are ‘7 Secrets to get Noticed by a Nerd’ I have all the insider information. Trust me, I’m an IB student. We’re known for our extravagant social lives.

Nerds. Underdogs now, bosses later (well usually, depending on how high their level of nerdiness is). Highly intelligent creatures with proportionately high money making potential. Who wouldn’t want one? Forget who – let’s get started on how to get one.

DISCLAIMER: If you don’t ‘get’ some of these secrets, it’s most likely due to the fact that it is a reference from a book/movie/TV series you haven’t read/watched. So hit the sci-fi section next time (if ever, that is) you enter a library.

Seven Secrets to Getting a Nerd:

    1. Get to the point straight away. “I find it physically stimulating how socially inept you are” is a great way to start a flirtatious conversation while refraining from looking like a pretentious idiot.
    2. Did I mention there were prerequisites? You have to be smart. Really smart. As smart as them. Preferably smarter. If you’re reading this, and you are taking it seriously, there probably isn’t much hope for you (but you can always continue with your futile task).
    3. Read his enemies Vogon Poetry
    4. 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 1 0 0 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 1 1 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 1 0*
    5. Your love notes have to be utterly devoid of any emotion, e.g. “You’re as hot as a motherboard with faulty CPU fan.”
    6. Play your nerd the A Space Odyssey theme and ask if that can be ‘our song.’
    7. Respect his private space. (He’ll need it for when he’s sitting on a leather swivel chair, poring over his next alluringly evil conspiracy – that’s why you like him, of course).

Yes, that last tip wasn’t a joke, kids. Good luck on your venture.

*This can be deciphered using a digital converter, but if you need one to understand that, you’ll also need a colossal miracle to get you anywhere with your guy. Not meaning to burst your bubble.

Before you friendly compassionate people take me to be a judgmental, label slapping, stereotyping A-hole by typing a large group of people, please take a second to look at yourselves ❤ HAHAHA just kidding. But yeah this was just written for entertainment purposes.

Oh er. Yes. May I add that there are some who don’t require any effort to snag at all?

 

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How to be a writer

You cannot write if you have not lived. This, I believe, is the only rule for writers, or any artist for that matter.

Stories are life from the writer’s viewpoint. So if the writer has not lived, there will be nothing to write about.

The very best writers are those who draw the most out of life, capture its little details and understand it fully. Writers take what they have learnt and share it with the world. Writers are teachers, writers are learners. Writing is a give and take process. To have written is to have lived. That is all.

Me being an artsy-fartsy, pretentious little child. See how the slightly old fashioned tone makes everything I say so much more serious? It’s true though, that the best remedy to writer’s block is a day spent outdoors!

How to Make Friends

There is no one who does not harbour insecurities from past events.

There is no one who has not experienced loneliness for no good reason whatsoever.

There is no one who has not felt there is something missing – but that what is missing cannot be pinpointed.

However, we can all find solace in knowing that everyone feels the same way. It is when we conceal our thoughts that we are distanced and divided. It is when we reveal these thoughts to someone who listens that a connection is made, there is no divide, and you don’t feel so lonely anymore.

And that, boys and girls, is how you make real friends. By my standards, anyway.